There are some who become exhausted with the information I offer; others who believe I’m driven by a profit motive for my (self) publications. I have also been accused of insensitivity and of being a minister of only cold-hard facts, as opposed to contributing in any meaningful way to the group’s personal trials and anguish.
Although completely wrong, I must admit the perceptions have merit.
The posts I offer come from years of research on both sides of the fence of the church. They contain elements which have caused much personal angst, as I’ve sifted through the chasm of misinformation I’ve entertained since I was baptized in 1975.
Having once been not only an active member, but a rabid zealot and defender, I have first-hand experience with the slow, plodding, mechanical elements of indoctrination which eventually envelop the lives of the faithful. Even with the benefit of knowing it is a fraud, there is not a day that goes by without the haunting feeling that it still might be true. This is seemingly inescapable for many of us. The authorities would convince us that the spirit is still pricking our soul to remember the truth of what we’ve abandoned, while the truly enlightened understand that it is a painful by-product of being deprogrammed from the cult mentality.
For many of us, there was never a time when we doubted the church. We were dedicated and pro-active in doing the Lord’s work. We were spoon-fed the sugar-coated ideologies the brethren taught from the pulpit, and our hearts swelled as they delivered their tear-filled observations.
This is where many of us come from. I dare say there is hardly a soul in these groups who have not had these, or similar feelings.
Many, when their shelves break, feel the need to “patch” the hurt with information that will encourage their new-found convictions, usually in the form of data to which they were never exposed to; thanks in no small part, to the tender care the leaders took in guiding us in a singular manner.
This is where I fit in. I love to provide alternative data, to help bolster the decisions of those who are either transitioning or are convinced that their exodus can be strengthened with information to support their changes.
Admittedly, it is not for all. There are many who want no reminders of the past; who have chosen to move on completely, wanting nothing to do with the religion whatsoever. I applaud these souls and invite them to ignore my posts.
Regarding a profit motive: I have self-produced three books and maintain an on-line catalog of LDS quotes and other sundry information. Although the other three books have been produced in hard-copy format, two of them are available for free at BOMsource.com, and the other is available for a buck (digitally) via Barnes and Noble. I have personally gone into thousands of dollars in debt to make this information available, and there is little hope I will recoup a minuscule portion of those funds, let alone be paid for the time I’ve invested. If any of this were intended for profit, you would not even know my name.